'' Getting to the paint ''

Hell Friends :)
I hope that everyone had good + safe Halloween. Mine was spent at our church helping out at the Fall Festival. Over 600+ people showed up including I think workers/volunteers. So that*s awesome. Was invited to a friends Halloween party around midnight but decided against it. My friend told me it ended up being really boring and not worth it. So glad I didn't go.

Hmmm.....other things :

We just celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary ♥ { October 20th } and we ate at Rick Erwins = YUMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!
uhm on October 6th was my birthday :D which completely SUCKED! I just want to forget that day ever existed. It was the worst day I've had in a very long time. Anyway ~

[ MINI- RANT ] ...

The following weekend was much better. I went to Savannah with some girls <3 and we had a lot fun + tons of laughter. It felt good just being away from everything + everyone. Since hs I've not had many close knit girl friends I could talk to. High School was terribly lonely for me & no one really was considered a good friend. ( There hasn't been NO ONE LIKE THAT SINCE MEGAN WOODRUM ) - an old best friend from Middle School =(
* Someone I miss very much * There was a group of girls I hung out with.But I look back on it and I never once felt truly welcomed into there cirlcle or there lives. And back then I was extremely shy & wasn't too outgoing. And a lot of people I know probably mistaken that for being Snobby or having a ' i'm too good for you ' attitude. But nope folks i'm just shy. But not with the one's I consider good friends and feel comfortable around. Since HS I have personally decided if you're going to be a two - faced BITCH and you're going to talk bad about me behind my back ,, but pretend to be my friend when I'm around. Then you can keep on walking and we have nothing to talk about. I have no time for people who are only going to
pretend to by my friend.Thanks to my painfull 9 years at SCS I don't have many good close to goodness girl friends =( At least not many I feel comfortable enough with telling my thoughts.secrets.rants.pet peeves.ect.................You know people say the old cliche' ''Whenever you need me or you need someone to talk to I'm here'' -- But they don't really mean it. But I can say since me and Justin have been together. I have come out of my shell a little more & am a little more outgoing than I used to be. It just would have been nice to have at least 1 good girl friend I could have talked to.But saldy and unfortnuately I had no one =( And I when I used to work @ Dillard*s I actually saw 2 girls who I thought were my friend. One of which I gave her my # and thought we would do something together. But what you know SHE NEVER FREAKING CALLED ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and another one I saw we talked and stuff but only for a minute. That few minutes I never once felt welcomed or that she was happy to see me . That THAT right there girlies is what I have zero time or tolerance for ... If you truly don't plan on calling me, or want to be friends or we never were to begin with.

TELL ME DAMNIT! TELL ME TO MY FACE . TELL ME OH I'M SORRY ANOTHER TIME OR SOMETHING.DON'T STAND THERE AND LIE TO MY FACE !!!!!!!

It really hurt to feel that way & to think we were so - called friends in HS. But once learns real quickly when once graduated HS you learn who are going to be life long friends and who are just the way they are.This weeks Sunday School lesson was good. Our leader said the old cliche " Sticks and Stones may break my bones , but words can't ever hurt me''
He continues on saying ,, Well words can hurt and they stay with us for a lifetime. Our tongue is like a double edged sword. And what we say does hurt and it does stay with us.I know some thigns that were said to me or about me. They are going to stay with me forever. One of which I had asked this girl one day if she thought I was a show - off + stuck up? B/C I wanted to know and stop doing that. She said YES straight to my face. MAN-- Talk about getting a doce of your own medicine. That has stayed with me since the 5th grade! No one likes a show off or someone who brags a lot.(arrogant) in other words. I won't even go into MS.That was just painful for me. Honest to goodness ~ I HATED SCS! so much you don't even know. I could not wait to graduate that little bubble & everyone in it. I realize people change. I look back on it and the group of girls I hung around with. The way they acted and talked about other people. Now it's like they're completely different and doing what they made fun ... Hmmm funny how life works out sometimes. And the ones you didn't care for too much at school.Are the very one's who you get back in touch with + are semi- friends .. WIERD.

Well end rant // .

So what I was trying to hopefully say is . I have no time for people who are only pretending to be my friend. I don't want friends no more who are two- faced . lying through there teeth and who are not honest with me. I've had too many painfull experiences and I do not want to go through that kind of pain again. I've lost 2 best friend =( If you can't handle me being so quiet and introverted then too bad for you . That's just who I am. I'm quiet [ about 80% of the time] I am perfectly content at sitting at home watching tv or reading a book. Does not like extremely large crowds, Likes the peace + quiet.I do not drink or party and I most definitely am not going to pretend to YOUR friend. I would love to just have some good - close girl friends who love me for me. Even if I won't talk your head off. And I most definitely not a talker either. ( for people who know me personally know this for a fact )

UGH. Felt good getting that out . I feel loads better.

Sorry ya*ll I haven't been updating this much. Currently we have been without internet at the house. We are planning on getting a wireless internet router.So we don't have to use internet through Verizon.Only reason I'm able to update now is I'm downtown @ work. Every where downtown it's wireless.Anyway --

YAY It*s fall :D ♥
I'm so looking forward to this month!
-- my birthday (on tuesday)
-- girls weekend in Savannah , Ga
-- our 2nd wedding anniversary
-- my favorite time of year
-- not too much longer until Christmas ♥ either
A lot of exciting things happening this month. I can't wait to start going up to the mountains + seeing the changing of the leaves.North Carolina is so pretty this time of year! That's the wonderful thing about living where I live. I don't live too terribly far away from the beach, the mountains, the big cities [ atlanta, charlotte, Chattanooga,] All of which you could just go to for the day or the weekend and be back by Sunday. Our weather is about near to perfection as you can get If you ask me.Our downtown is so charming + not too small and not too big. It's just right. We have a growing art community as well. Greenville, SC was named one of the BEST ART CITIES IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
I love where I live ♥

Sorry for my absence = ( and lack of updating.I have another blog I update regularly
http://www.livejournal.com/user/frenchxsoul
You can come and find me there :)